Thoughts on Living a Bigger Life

We all get in a funk sometimes and feel stuck. And when you’re stuck, you want to get unstuck. So what do you do?

Best advice is to start small, with the littlest thing you can do, because that’s going to inspire you to do the next thing, and the next.

You might say, “Yeah, but my problem is I don’t feel like doing anything.”

I understand.

But you’re not a child. Your emotions don’t dictate what you do.

In fact, how you feel has no bearing on whether or not you start building a bigger life.

So, what is a bigger life?

• doing & seeing more
• building meaningful connections
• a commitment to life-long learning
• making a larger contribution to the world

Every day is an opportunity to increase your value, thereby enabling you to live a bigger life.

At six weeks before the start of the 2020s, I’m recommitting to living a bigger life—I want my 2020s to be better than my 2010s.

My Motivation Proclamation

When I was a kid, my dad told me he never missed a day of school. Kindergarten up to twelfth grade, not one day missed.

I don’t even know if it was true. But it was inspirational—something I had to think about every time I woke up feeling like dick in a can, or got only four hours’ sleep the night before.

My dad’s perfect attendance was a powerful example. It told me no matter how I felt, I was getting my tankass out of bed and going to school. And later in life, going to work.

In my twenties, I had a friend who constantly complained about his job. Like many young salespeople, he thought he was a great salesman despite never selling anything.

His excuses were many—poor territory, micro-managing boss, TPS reports—he blamed everything but himself. It never occurred to him that a grown man texting in “sick” following a “Sunday Funday” might be given a harder time.

One night he called to ask for career advice (one of those calls to “ask” that don’t contain any questions).

He said, “Bro, sales isn’t a good career. It’s not fulfilling. We should do [insert latest gimmick his brother-in-law was doing].”

I let him have it…

“The f*ck it isn’t [a good career]. You could be killin’ it. But you’re chattin’ with chics on social media all day.

He was prioritizing his social life over a career.

I continued…

. . . Then I come to your apartment on Saturday mornings, the best time of the week to make big investments in your future, and you’re wrapped in blankets with the thermostat on 65 like a lil’ b*tch…

. . . Dude, you’re squandering the most important decade of your life (your twenties). 

You’ll never have more energy to start conquering the world than right now”

The talk wasn’t altogether new—we’d had talks like this before. He also knew that a friend who’s comfortable to be honest with you is worth his weight in gold—I’d taught him that too.

2000 Years Ago

Let’s go back a few millennia, when people worked for basic sustenance and survival, rather than worry about “finding their passion” or getting “fulfillment” from their work. Stoic philsopher Marcus Aurelius wrote (in Meditations):

“At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: “I have to go to work—as a human being. What do I have to complain of, if I’m going to do what I was born for—the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?”

Aurelius was emperor of Rome. He could’ve had a palatial estate constructed on what is now Cinque Terre. Every day harems could’ve fed him grapes from a gold-plated California Emperor bed. Not to mention topless maids to ensure the royal penis was clean.

So why didn’t he?

For the same reason “Akeem” left Zomunda—a wise man knows the hedonic treadmill is a quick sprint to self-loathing and emptiness.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a twenty-something salesperson or the most powerful man in the world, each of us has an opportunity to live a bigger life.

When You Think You’ve “Made It”

The key to living a bigger life is to never lose your beginner’s mindset.

My first guest on the podcast, Texas Rangers AAA Hitting Coach, Chase Lambin, said you’re either growth-minded or fixed-minded. As someone who’s been around many millionaire twenty-somethings, he’s seen first-hand what happens when you start thinking you’ve “made it.”

Truth is, you’ve never “made it”—there’s always more to learn, deeper connections to make and more value to provide the world.

In 2010, Lil Wayne & Kevin Rudolph released a song called “I Made It.” Considering where “Lil Weezy” came from, I’m sure he felt like he had “made it.”

But that feeling is short-lived.

This could be why Lil Wayne later released a song titled Bill Gates, where he says, “I used to be ballin’, but now I’m Bill Gatin’.”

Weezy realized there was another level.

When you start feeling like you’ve “made it” is precisely the time to recommit yourself to living a bigger life. Time to set new goals.

The alternative is ugly, if not dangerous.

Consider Buzz Aldrin—the first man on the moon. As far as doing big things, it doesn’t get bigger than the moon (especially if it’s full). Yet Aldrin has written about his downward spiral into a life of depression & addiction following his moonwalk.

“There was no goal, no sense of calling, no project worth pouring myself into,” – Buzz Aldrin, in his memoir Magnificent Desolation.

Live Deliberately

A bigger life should be pursued with a quiet confidence—nobody wants to hear how busy you are or that you “work your ass off.”

Live deliberately.

Any man who boasts about how busy he is in modern America is humble-bragging, while attempting to disguise his busyness as a complaint. Look at me, I’m so in demand, I’m crazy busy. 

Nobody cares, dummy.

“Someone who says ‘I am busy’ is either declaring incompetence (and lack of control of his life) or trying to get rid of you.” – Nassim Taleb

Gates is the proper role-model here—he’s not telling us how busy he is because a man who reads 50 books a year isn’t busy—he lives deliberately.

In fact, Gates has said, “Busy is the new stupid.” And who’s living a bigger life, making a larger contribution to humanity than Gates?

After co-founding what became the most valuable company in the world (2002 & 2018), Gates is now focused on polio eradication, reinventing toilets in third-world countries and developing new technologies to revolutionize nuclear power.

Much of Microsoft’s growth, Gates has said, can be attributed to big ideas and concepts which came to him during “think-weeks.” Seven days of self-imposed solitude—he goes to a cabin in the woods and doesn’t allow interruptions from anyone.

My Recommitment

I’m recommitting to living a bigger, more deliberate life—devising a plan to ensure the 2020s are even bigger than my 2010s.

Part of my action plan is to emulate Gates [in the following ways]:

• He read ~500 books in the 2010s – 50 books a year (I read 260 – more in 2020s)
• He started doing think-weeks in the 80s (my inaugural think-week was this year)
• He helps kids in unfortunate circumstances (we’re doing the same in Indonesia)

Big opportunity as the decade comes to an end. Start writing an action plan in your journal for the 2020s.

Don’t wait to be inspired—action comes first.

If you’re feeling stuck, remember nobody stays “on” all the time—we can all use a swift kick in the cullo—revisit material that serves as the “foot” you need. And let’s do BIG things together.

“You know you at the top when only heaven’s right above it.” – Lil Wayne