Emotional Intelligence, Male / Female Differences, Creating Space for Sizzle with Kisha Kloster

My guest is Kisha Kloster. She’s a Marriage and Family Therapist from Houston, Texas. She’s been working as a therapist since 2012, with a specific interest in working with couples and those experiencing difficulties with anger & intimacy.

Her goal working with clients is to be as real and authentic as possible. She gives clients the space to feel comfortable to tell their stories. She then helps them to explore the endless possibilities that
healthy relationships and self-discovery can provide.

We recall the death of our mutual friend, “Spanky,” who committed suicide. She says it became a pivotal moment in her life that led her to finishing graduate school and getting a Master’s Degree in Therapy.

We also discuss the most common issue Kisha discusses with couples: infidelity. Human nature dictates infidelity will always be with us. I make a rather poor attempt at comparing infidelity to death which is an inevitability. Kisha rightly points out that unlike death, there’s always hope someone won’t cheat; we’re all going to die.

We also answer several listener questions. I had as much fun recording this episode as any other— hope you learn as much as I did!

Questions asked:

Have you known since you were 17 years old that you were going to be a therapist?
Did everyone know about the [mental health] problems you were having personally?
Is there any truth to the adage that once you’re in couples therapy, your marriage is basically over?
Are there any people who come to see you for the first time, who are doing well, and are maybe just trying to preempt any potential problems they might have?
Would it be wise to accept infidelity as an inevitability and then work backwards from there?
On average, how long does passion last in a relationship or marriage?
Is it true that women will cheat just because they’re not happy enough?
Do you think people have a tough time asking for what it is that they want?
Can you talk about anger, its sources, and what we can do to better manage it?
Do you agree that it’s not necessary to get into the feelings driving anger?
Have you caught onto the fact that women in London, Buenos Aires, New York City, L.A, [women] with high-powered jobs, who missed the “husband & kids” phase, are also on the most anti-depressant-type medications?
Do you think women need to be led [in life]?
Why don’t you advertise on social media?
Listener question: What can a husband do to try and get his wife to communicate with him more effectively?
[Kisha asked Brad] What is your opinion about the statement that men do things for results and women do things in terms of experience?
Listener question: What is the best way to cure a lack of intimacy between a husband & wife?
Listener question: As someone who’s been in a long-distance relationship going on a year, what are some tips moving forward before we finally get a place together?
Listener question: How can you convert a commitment-phobe?
What do you mean by [self-discovery]? And what tips do you have for those who’ve never engaged in any sort of self-discovery?

Fun questions:

Social media – net positive or net negative for society?
Hot or regular yoga?
Have you ever paid for an app?
If forced to meditate or pray for 20 minutes a day, which would you choose?
True/False: a loving wife who “makes out” with another man on a business trip should tell her husband
True/False: sex once a week is more than most people our age
If someone dropped $1million dollars in your lap tomorrow, what would you do with it?
What % chance do you think Donald Trump has of being reelected?
What is your best advice to me to sustain a happy marriage during and after our child is born?
Overrated/Underrated: Josh Reddick, Dan Crenshaw, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, Dr. Ruth

Listen here:

Books mentioned:

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (good translation hard to find on Amazon right now)
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The Five Love Languages y Gary Chapman
The Positive Dog by Jon Gordon
“Any books” by Brené Brown
Unf*ck Yourself by Gary John Bishop

Connect with Kisha:

Office number: (832) 771-2532
Psychology Today Website

Other topics discussed:

Questions asked:

Fun questions:

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Books mentioned:

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