Stop dealing with people as you wish they were. Or how you think they should be.
You’re wasting precious time.
You can only control your own internal state—not the misdeeds and misspoken words of others.
People will act in ways you can’t believe. Say the dumbest things with regularlty. And not just today, but tomorrow and the next day.
But if you find yourself judging others, consider your own faults first. That way, you’ll be less apt to blame them.
Fortify Your Mind
How ridiculous when someone says, “She makes me feel guilty.”
Nobody can make you feel dishonorable without your consent. And shame on that person for attempting to make you feel some type of way.
You wouldn’t try to make someone feel guilty—it’s beneath you. Therefore you must decide: How much time do I want to spend with someone who would attempt to manipulate the emotions of others?
While a “manipulator” may be toxic, you must also ponder how much exposure you want to those who’re easily manipulated.
“The more easily you get offended, the less intelligent you actually are.” – Naval Ravikant
Rather than judge or be disturbed by others, which will only set you up for disappointment and distress, best to focus on self-improvement.
Fortify your mind. Make yourself impenetrable to the chaotic misbehavior of others. In doing so, you’ll become impervious to the turmoil that swirls about chronically unhappy people.
It’ll help to embed this in your brain. Not everyone is interested in bettering their lives. That is, if improvement requires the slightest effort.
Dummies and stubborn people exist. This won’t change in your lifetime.
“The best revenge is not to be like that.” – Marcus Aurelius
It’s as common as coffee in the morning for a person who begins to get a handle on their own internal state to start thinking they can control others’ behavior. Wrong. Free yourself of such amateur-thinking.
You cannot escape other peoples’ faults. But you can escape your own faults and strengthen your mind.
You do this by developing your internal state to effectively manage out-of-control whims. Focus on what you might be doing wrong. And fix that first.
Evil Human Beings
Don’t be surprised by the wicked deeds of others. Don’t wish men were not as they are.
Some people are prone to do evil shit. They do bad things out of ignorance, totally clueless of what is good and evil.
A man who develops himself clearly understands his capacity to do the most awful acts.
Here’s a secret. If you’ve wondered whether you could kill a man. Trust me, you could. If sufficiently provoked.
Imagine being deliberately poisoned by someone you trusted, your kids forever left without a father.
Think you wouldn’t “tap in” to a gangster buddy who would take a bullet for you (or give one), devise a plan to follow that motherfucker home and light him up at the only red light without cameras en route to his house?
Or save 20k and do it yourself?
You would.
All you’d need in this life of sin, is you and your girlfriend.
Hit ‘em up? Yup.
“I am no man, I am dynamite.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
Even still. If you could dig deep within yourself and forgive that person, you should.
It’d be a shock to the conscience for many to learn the percentage of men walking among us who would take a life for an extra $1k. Or worse, “off” you for your political beliefs.
Recall what Carl Jung called The Shadow, which is confronting the reality that every horrible thing humans beings have done, was done by human beings, and you’re one of them.
There wasn’t a higher incidence of psychopathy among the populace in Nazi Germany.
In fact, a study of the Austrian population post-World War II to determine the prevalence of psychopathy among 200,000 civilians who committed heinous acts against Jews—including murder—resulted in no more psychopaths per capita than anywhere else in the world.
By the way, Jung also said, “Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you’re just doing research.”
Sharing my research here.
Does He Like Me?
You must also accept that not everyone will like you. Even the most popular person in the world is disliked by half his own countrymen. See Obama or Trump.
You can be the ripest peach in the orchard, but somebody’s not going to like peaches.
In the business world, people generally buy from people they like. But a discerning businessperson knows intuitively that not everyone will buy from them. Therefore he’s ruthless about qualifying every prospect he encounters.
There’s a common saying among real estate pros: “All buyers are liars, and sellers are worse.”
The faster one can gauge a person’s interest or ambivalence, the more time and resources can be reallocated to those who are interested. You can’t believe how much time is saved by not chasing someone who’s never going to do business with you.
While you can learn persuasion skills to influence the behavior of others—some will never buy from you.
It’ll always be this way. In wishing human nature to change, you’re wishing for the impossible.
Then you become the dummy.
Forgive Everyone, No Exceptions
How often does somebody say something stupid to provoke you, only to become incredulous when you retaliate?
They don’t realize they’ve started the whole thing. Coffee in the morning
Sure, apologies are nice, but don’t think they won’t do it again. Nobody reading this is saying to themselves, “Hey he’s talking about me! I talk stupid all the time to piss people off. I also try to make others feel guilty—I really should stop.”
Forgive idiots their unawareness and strive to live in harmony with people. Absolve them their errors, even if they would do you harm.
You’re not just better for it, but lighter.
Books & movies provide examples:
1- The Bible. On the Cross, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” He stayed light, ascended into heaven.
WWJD
2- Joe Dirt. Could fast forget being wronged. Stayed featherweight. “Keep on keepin’ on,” he said, “Because life’s a garden, dig it!”
Be like Dirt
